Busy parents are finding it tough to be their child’s mentor. As parents, we want our child to reach great heights, provide everything under the sun. While we influence them largely and play a positive role in their life, certain deviations can put them in trouble. Earlier there was strong participation on both parents and teacher to build child’s character, instill values and a sense of what is right and wrong. Now things have changed— tight parent’s schedule, value system shift in schools, and a lot more. To make a better life during adverse phase of your child’s development, a respected adult or a mentor is a must to help your child’s well being and success.
My mom had been the best mentor and I relied on her almost on everything. When the school released the evaluation card, I escaped father’s furry by approaching her with a Donald duck like face, and there she melted and signed up my card.
I still remember an uncle coming to my house almost every weekend to know how we (siblings) are performing in our curriculum and other activities. Sometimes, he came only to share their child’s success stories that would make my mom believe that I am just an idiot! Then that evening, I and my mother would roll into a never-to-cease argument. So, next time when we (I and my sibling) see him coming, we make an escape plan. That wasn’t just an escape from lectures, but somehow we didn’t want things to blow out of proportion. We accepted we love our parents and could make things work later.
And, things changed—
Unlike two decades ago, today’s parents fail to fulfill their mentor-ship figure in children. Initial survival works fine. But as child grows, understands the world in their own comfort zone, parents fail to understand them. Mistakes/deviations happen and you don’t sometimes notice due to a family depression or a busy schedule. Vociferation or strict action even doesn’t work. Soon the protector, provider, and a deep bond that existed between you and the child has gone for a toss. Smartphones also don’t escape the blame. Everything fails, but no one understands the inner tension that youngsters experience.
Where does this tensions have its root?—
The current culture of focusing more into academics, achievements, admission to a better college, a better job, and goal to turn into a money generator machine are not just enough. Among constant struggle to achieve things, they fail to realize their true self, their individuality. Even institutions, these days, lose on their stance to build character grooming educational system by persuading inherent cheating, infusing inequalities and accepting donations. Parents, now, challenge school’s authority or teachers to support and enhance their child’s performance. They are no more concerned about right or wrong. Unknowingly, they value their children for what they can do, not for who they are. The whole value system or the value of the system is quite broken— increasing school dropout rate, suicides, drug addictions, and lot of other crimes. Youngsters are taught about their self-worth rather than addressing their problem areas, in a meaningful way and letting the children discover their own identity.
Need of the hour —
Children cannot see in themselves what we elders can. We want the best of the unrealized uniqueness of their children. They need someone to rely on (may be their mother’s belief) or their father’s protection. They won’t stop committing something drastically wrong if you keep on throwing tantrums. Instead, as a mentor, allow to commit a small mistake, if needed for a deep insight or learning to happen. Change your approach to understand them, so they would never hide anything from you. Probably, participate in the way they think and take action.
So, to all busy/working parents – find a respected, trustworthy adult or a mentor:
- To help them achieve success by understanding during their crucial time.
- To connect your child to the outer world trusting, (like my mother’s confidence to put me into a dance class helped!)
- To infringe good communication skills, and various others, (as sports, literature, hobbies and even careers)
- To find their passion, work around to develop those interests, and introduce them to resources that will help them reach their goal.
- To develop more advanced social skills that impacts performance in school as well as life at home.
To have a productive life and willingness to change things, you can do wonders!